Designer Crap and Spiders and Bulgaria in Cambodia

I went to a party in the suburbs today. Most of the kids there were jerks by some standard. The one that took the proverbial cake was a muscley hot shot wearing some piece of transparent designer crap. He thinks he’s so cool because he doesn’t know what cool is. He’s never thought past whether his friends laugh at his petty jokes or not. Typical bozo. Yesterday he wore mismatched shoes and rudely imitated my voice, whose melodious intricacies he fail to communicate. Duh.

I can do more than just complain.

To avoid people like him I hung out with my Smart Friend from Bulgaria in Cambodia (He lives in an embassy compound.) and his friendly cousin. We played foosball and watched a spider spin her web. My Smart Friend is fifteen and knew all about spiders. He said that their muscles can only close their legs, not open them. They use a pressurized fluid to hydraulically open them when they relax their muscles. This is why a dead spider’s legs, drained of fluid, bend closed with the pull of the muscles. This reminds me of a flower closing.